Substitutions
by Navigate Me
Summary: Although Izaya and Shizuo are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts Psyche and Tsugaru? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Tokyo's most dangerous? Longer sum. inside!
1. Red

**Title:** Substitutions.  
**Author:** Heiwajima Shizuo.  
**Rating:** T.  
**Warning:** Swearing, innuendos, a little violence. Rating might go up too.  
**Summary:** After angering Shizuo and getting into a fight with Tsugaru, Izaya and Psyche both switch universes. In the other universe, Izaya meets Tsugaru and in Izaya's universe, Psyche runs into a pissed off Shizuo. Although the informant and debt collector are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Ikebukuro's most dangerous?

**Bonus Izaya's POV summary: **One day I woke up somewhere with Shizuo. But this one was different, he wasn't in a bartender outfit and he didn't want to kill me. Instead, he loved me. Looking at the situation, this is finally my chance to be with the one I love without worrying about him killing me.

A/N: I seriously need to stop starting new fucking fics every 2 weeks -.- Anyways yeah. Hopefully you guys get what I'm going for, if not I'mma be really sad and I know that was shitty summary s: It gets better though, trust me. Now enjoy ~

* * *

"Hey, are you ok?"

Standing in what appears to be the inside of a dojo, a few feet away from me is Shizu-chan.

But wait, this can't possibly be him.

Why isn't he in his signature bartender outfit I've learned to run from? The black vest, black pants, and white shirt, what happened? Why doesn't he have a cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth? Where the fuck are sun glasses that he wears over his amber eyes that always burn with the desire to kill me?

What happened to all that?

And why in the world is he in that girly looking blue and white kimono?

Although I have to admit, he doesn't look all that bad in it, what in the world is going on? Just a few seconds ago I was running from the protozoan after I took his ice cream cone, and smashed it into mouth.

Thinking about it... Tsk. Tsk.

I said 'say awh'!

Idiot.

But anyways, after I laughed at Shizu-chan, who had some ice cream on his lips and cheek, I ran like hell. And of course, he chased after me both angry and with intentions of killing me.

The usual.

Then, I ran into a nearby park and stopped for a bit. I had to make sure he caught up or what would be the fun of losing him?

Finally, he found me and I ran into the part of the park where there were many trees. Luckily there was a little path in the middle of the little forest that I assumed lead to the other side of the park. When I heard the blonde debt colector's angry growl echo, I followed the trail. After that, it began getting dark and I decide to follow it and run.

But right before I was out of the forest, I hit my head against a branch.

Stupid tree. I was like what, 4 feet away from getting out?

Geez.

Then, I woke up in the middle of some dojo with Shizu-chan.

And that ends the story of how the great Orihara Izaya

"Hello? Hey! Are you ok?" Shizu-chan says as he takes a step closer to me.

Oh shit. I almost forgot all about him.

As I take a step back, I grab my trusty pocket knife in my back pocket and hide it behind my back. Although it appears the protozoan is unharmed, and there are no vending machines or stop signs around, this idiot still has the strength to stop a move train.

With a sly smirk, I reply, "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I found you lying outside passed out."

Oh yeah. That.

"And then after I brought you back in, you woke up, screamed, and then ran away from me." The blonde bartender, minus the bartender outfit, says. Taking a few steps towards me, we are left with only 2 feet in between us.

"Sorry, that tends to happen when I'm around you." I say back smugly.

When he takes another step closer towards me, I bring my knife to his neck ready to slice.

Finally! Shizu-chan's head is mine!

Oh how I've waited for the day!

Taking one more step towards me, his lips part ready to talk. My, my, I wonder what the protozoan's last words will be.

'I am sorry for ever thinking I'd be able to kill someone as smart and sexy as Orihara Izaya.'

Oh! Oh! Maybe even,

'Stab me and cut me really hard!'

I wouldn't be surprised if he said the latter though. Every time I've slice him in the past, he never seems to mind. In fact, I'm pretty sure he likes it.

Haha! The protozoan might be a masochist!

Soon, my knife is above the man's shoulder a few inches from his neck.

Hurry and say something, Shizu-chan! If you don't, I'll never get to hear you call me sexy.

"I'm sorry."

Haha I knew you thought so, I—

Wait.

_What_?

Quickly. I stop my arm and hold in the urge to cut him.

Am I going crazy, or did he just say—

"I'm sorry, ok?" He says and my body freezes as I drop my knife, my most treasured possession making a small 'clang' as it hits the wooden floor beneath us.

With my hand still in the air, I blink and I suddenly feel something warm. For a second I stare eyes opened and paralyzed. Did he really just say—

"I'm sorry. I really am."

Wait—what's that around my waist?

My eyes widen when I am hit with the sudden realization that the thing around my waist is Shizu-chan's arms, and the warmth I am feeling is coming off of his chest against my own. And that weight I'm feeling on my left shoulder… that's his head—

Holy crap.

We really are hugging.

But since when did he hug me? I didn't even notice.

Wait—since when did he actually _want_ to hug me?

If I do remember correctly, the closest thing he's ever done to hug me was tackle me in high school. Thank God Shinra tore him off of me. If he didn't, I'm pretty sure I'd be as dead as Shizu-chan's brain.

Brr… the thought of that gives me shivers.

With one arm over his shoulder and absentmindedly wrapped around his neck, the other hangs loosely to the side as I try to process what just happened.

Ok so he hugged me.

That much is clear.

My arm is also around his neck. It's the one that was still in the air after dropping my knife. And the only reason it's now wrapped around this brute's neck was that my instinct told me to.

Well that settles that.

Now I know why I'm semi-returning the embrace.

Sadly, I am clueless as to why Shizuo is holding me like this. In fact why the hell haven't I made a move to break free yet?

Soon, the weight on my shoulder is lifted and he positions his head so he can look me directly in the eyes. And suddenly, his eyes close and his moves his face closer to mine.

Is it just me, or does it sound like he's going to kiss me—

Oh my God—

HE IS!

Quickly, I break free of his hold and stumble onto my butt.

Although it feels like I've been butt fucked relentlessly by men on steroids, the pain is worth it seeing as I have a chance at running away from him. For all I know, he could've been planning to squeeze me until I ran out of air. Pretending that he was about to kiss me was a way of distracting me before BAM!

I am left with broke ribs, bleeding to death, as he squeezes whatever life I have left.

… Wow.

How emo of me.

Damn it, Izaya.

While on the ground, he kneels in front of me with a worried expression. With one hand on the ground for support, as he leans his face towards mine, his eyes are left half lidded. In a low, whisper-like voice, he says, "Look I'm sorry, please just…"

"What the? Hey Shiz—mmph!"

My eyes shoot wide open.

As I spoke Shizuo leaned forward, stuck his lips onto mine and slipped his tongue into my mouth. With his hot tongue in my mouth, I feel ashamed as I hold in a moan.

A few seconds pass and suddenly, I pull away remembering that this is Shizuo. Heiwajima Shizuo.

Oh my God.

"Are you ok?" He asks me as he leans his forehead against mine.

As I stare at him I realize something, his eyes…

"Hey Psyche, since when were your eyes red?"

* * *

Tell me what'cha think? :3


	2. Blue

**Title:** Substitutions.  
**Author:** Heiwajima Shizuo.  
**Rating:** T.  
**Warning:** Swearing, innuendos, a little violence. Rating might go up too.  
**Summary:** After angering Shizuo and getting into a fight with Tsugaru, Izaya and Psyche both switch universes. In the other universe, Izaya meets Tsugaru and in Izaya's universe, Psyche runs into a pissed off Shizuo. Although the informant and debt collector are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Ikebukuro's most dangerous?

A/N: I just realized I accidentally uploaded my rough copy of my first chapter with all of my mistakes and unedited stuff ._." So yeah, that's why the last chapter was pretty iffy s: Anyways sorry about the mistakes in this one and yeah. I know this one doesn't have a bonus Shizuo POV summary, but I seriously cannot think of one right now D:

Thank you all for the reviews~! :D

* * *

"FLEA!"

"Haha! Catch me if you can~!"

With my hands balled up into fists, I run angrily after one of Japan's, and possibly all of Asia's, most annoying. In his usual black coat with fur trims, I reach for it as I run.

Unfortunately, the man in the coat runs faster and I feel the fur against the tips of my fingers before I lose the feel of it completely.

Fuck! I was so close!

Although I am pissed off, the fact that I was so close to catxhing him is making me even angrier.

Damn it Izaya, you son of a bitch!

When I get my hands on you I swear…

Well, I guess you're all wondering what the flea's done this time, right?

Ok so, there I was sitting on the edge of the fountain in Ikebukuro. I was there waiting for Tom, the man I've been working for, for a while now. After I waited a bit, I started craving something sweet and went into one of the sweet shops and bought strawberry ice cream in a cone.

Yeah, even Heiwajima Shizuo likes sweet things.

Get the fuck over it.

Anyways, after I got it, I sat back down in my original place at the fountain waiting for Tom. I had the ice cream for at least a minute before the flea showed up, took my cone, and smashed it against my mouth.

The fucker. That stuff was good!

After that, he laughed, then ran.

And well now, I'm on my feet running after that anorexic excuse of a man.

Licking my lips, I can _still_ taste my ice cream.

Damnit! That stuff was _so_ good!

As I turn a corner, I try to grab his jacket again. It may not be him but if I grab his coat, I can always pull it and well…

Bye bye, Izaya.

It was nice knowing you—not.

"FUCK!" I yell in frustration as my finger tips brush against the fur trims once more.

Looking over his shoulder as he runs, he smirks.

Oh how I hate that smirk—I take that back.

I hate his face. Period.

No questions asked.

Him and that smug little look of his, ugh! Just wait, once I catch up to you let's see how smug you'll be when you're begging me to stop hitting you.

Reeling my fist back, I swing, and make a whole in a brick wall.

"Nice try, Shizu-chan!" Izaya says crossing the street and running into a park.

Before I get the chance to cross, a horde of cars begin drive by and I am left here fuming, waiting for them to stop. Mother fuck!

I bet anything that this was all planned out and Izaya paid all of these people to drive right when they saw me about to cross. It's just like when we went to high school.

With my arms crossed, I tap my foot impatiently.

HURRY THE FUCK UP OR I SWEAR I'M GOING TO FIND YOU, AND CRUSH YOU WITH YOUR OWN CAR—

Soon the cars stop and the pedestrian light starts blinking.

Why look at that.

As I mentally thank the God I haven't been praying to as much as I use to, I quickly run into the park. There, I see Izaya.

Hah. The idiot didn't even think of running.

Still smirking, he sticks his tongue out at me mockingly and runs.

"IZAYA-KUN."

Running after him, he runs into a part of the park that is heavily covered by trees. Once I reach the entrance into the mini forest I growl. I can't go in there, my sight in the dark is terrible and I'll only end uplost.

Fuck! I was fucking close to getting him!

Wait!

If he's planning on running through the woods then I can just go around it and beat him up on the other side.

Perfect!

Quickly, I run around the forest and after a few minutes, I end up on the other side.

Looking around, there seems to be no one around. People normally never come into the far part of the park for some reason. While I look around, a certain figure in white among the dark colors of the forest catches my attention.

What the fuck—?

Is that really him?

A few feet away from me is Izaya.

And what made me go 'what the fuck' is the fact he's in different clothes.

That son of a bitch! How stupid does he take me for? Yeah, I may not be a doctor like Shinra, but I am smart enough to recognize Izaya. Just because you changed your clothes doesn't mean I won't be able to tell it's you, flea!

In a white jacket, pants and shoes, a pink belt, and pink head set and MP3, he turns his head from side to side as if examining his surroundings for the first time.

Hah.

The flea doesn't even notice me!

Man, I am going to _love_ hurting you, flea.

As I walk over to him he stops looking around and he focuses his attention on me.

Too late for you to run now! You can try but you're within reaching range.

Scowling angrily with my hands balled up into fists, I feel them loosen at what I see.

Is Izaya _crying_?

What in the world—

"Wah!" Izaya cries as he lunges forward.

Whoa! Shit, he has a knife, he—

Wait. What the—?

With my arms pinned to my sides, Izaya hugs me tightly.

HEH?

"I-I'm sor-ry!" He says in between sniffles as he nuzzles his face into my chest, his wet tears leaking through the fabric of my shirt. "I'm sorry!"

…

Wait—WHAT?

"I'm so s-sorry!" He says, his voice cracking.

When I try to break free, I realize something; for someone so skinny, he has a pretty strong hold on me. Although I know I can break free, I don't want to hurt him like that. Maybe a punch in the face, but not like this.

Looking down, I see him staring up back at me.

His eyes…

Something looks way off.

Why are Izaya's irises pink?

Weren't they red?

"I'm so, _so_ sorry about earlier!" He says as the stream of tears rolling from his eyes comes to an end.

Though I hate to admit it, Izaya seems pretty… sincere.

The way he's crying, the sad tone in his voice… he can't possibly be acting. He might end up cutting my head off if I let my guard down, but for some reason, I just can't bring myself to move away.

He's got me paralyzed.

Fuck!

"I'm so sorry!" He says before he leans his face up and—

WHAT THE—?

Slightly parting his lips, he sticks his tongue out and licks the ice cream I on my upper lip.

With my eyes wide, I am left confused.

Did he do what I think he just did?

If this is his way of getting to me, it sure is working.

Soon, Izaya's eyes close and he kisses me. . As his tongue clashes against mine, I quickly take control over it. There's no way I'm letting the flea dominate. As I hold in the urge to moan, I feel my self-respect slip. I can't believe it, but this actually feels really good—

Oh mothering fucking hell.

I'M KISSING THE FLEA.

I'M LOCKING LIPS WITH ORIHARA IZAYA.

OH DEAR GOD…

Breaking away, I turn my head away. With my face heating up and blushing slightly, I feel Izaya's hands snake their away around my neck.

When I turn back to scowl at him, my expression drops at the sight of his.

With the look of a child-like curiousity on his usually smug face, he removes my sun glasses, staring at my eyes. Once they are off, his curious expression only intensifies.

"What are you looking at?" I spit out.

"Heh? Ne! I thought your eyes were blue, Tsu-chan!" He says.

Confused I mumble to myself as he continues to stare into my eyes before he licks off the ice cream I have on my right cheek..

"Tsu-chan… ?"

* * *

Although I love everyone single one of you all for favoriting, alerting, and reviewing, I am jumping up and down happily for I was reviewed by one of my favorite authors, RukawaGF. OMG ~

And I agree, Izaya freaking out is so fcking cute~! xD

So anyways, y'all wanna tell me what'cha think? :3

Y'all is the word of the day btw

... y'all.


	3. Renai Circulation

**Title:** Substitutions.  
**Author:** Heiwajima Shizuo.  
**Rating:** T.  
**Warning:** Swearing, innuendos, a little violence. Rating might go up too.  
**Summary:** After angering Shizuo and getting into a fight with Tsugaru, Izaya and Psyche both switch universes. In the other universe, Izaya meets Tsugaru and in Izaya's universe, Psyche runs into a pissed off Shizuo. Although the informant and debt collector are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Ikebukuro's most dangerous?

Thank you all for the reviews~! :D

* * *

"I'm telling you, that isn't Izaya, Shizuo."

As I stand in Shinra's bathroom, I place a hand on my forehead extremely agitated.

At some point, I decided to bring the flea over to Shinra's.

Why did I?

Well, the reason I decided to bring him to Shinra was to make sure Izaya didn't hurt his head while he was in the woods. I assumed he bumped his head against a branch on the way out and all of a sudden lost his memory of me and that was why he didn't run away from me.

… Don't ask me how I've come up with the latter.

These things can happen… I guess.

It just seemed like it was a good explanation, ok?

But whatever.

And as much as I say I want to murder Izaya, I really don't. I just say I do in hopes it'll scare him and make him stay as far away from me as possible. A scare tactic, you know?

But I admit, I do have a little anger problem—

Who am I kidding?

I have a _huge_ anger problem, and even I know it! If anyone annoys me, I lose control of any rational thoughts and my body takes over. And sometimes, I don't even realize it! My mind just goes along with whatever my body is up too and that only makes me angrier.

It's strange, really. I guess this is why Kasuka doesn't show emotions; it's because I was given all of it when I was born.

When I'm angry, I get violent. When I'm sad, which rarely ever happens, I mope for days. When I'm annoyed, I get angry and well, become violent.

Hah. Thinking about it, I'm pretty sure I was born with all the strength and impulse whereas Kasuka was born with the think-before-acting gene and frail body.

Anyways on the way to the wacky brunette doctor's, I began thinking maybe the flea was pretending to be a complete air head.

And I do me air head. For the entire walk here, he kept looking around at everything with the look a 5 year old has when he sees something new for the first time. Like it was his first time ever being in Ikeburkuro when I know for a fact, Izaya's been here more than once.

So as we walked, I began hoping Izaya would drop his act and run or something. I mean really, he couldn't keep his act up for that long. But during the walk here, he remained completely fine around me.

Instead of having him run away from me like I had some sort of virus, he did the exact opposite and _clung_ to me. In fact, he even grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together!

It was weird and for some reason, he called me 'Tsu-chan' again.

Well anyways, uncomfortable with the feeling of his smaller, and strangely soft hand in mine, I moved my mine and stuffed it into the pocket of my pants. To be honest, I did that to my other hand too in case he decided to do it to my other one too.

But when I pulled my hand away and told him to keep his hands to myself, he started crying and apologizing 'about earlier' or something. As he cried, people around us began to stare and some kid even pointed and asked his mom 'why the man with the pink eyes was crying. At that point, I told him to shut up the fuck up.

Unfortunately for me, this only made the flea cry even more.

Finally, I removed my hand from my pocket and grabbed his hand wondering why the hell he was so sensitive today. Usually, I'd insult him with things that would make a nun cry and he wouldn't give a flying fuck. But I guess he really did hit his head on something.

After taking his hand into mine, almost instantly, his crying stopped and he started singing.

_Swoonily~ swoonity~_  
_When I look at you_  
_Just that will make me_  
_Daze to your radiance_

_Swoonity~ swoonily~_  
_When I think of you_  
_Just that will make me_  
_Melt to the ground_

What the fuck was he singing for?

Wait, what the fuck _was_ he singing anyways?

Whatever the answer was, the fact he was singing only made me pull on his hand harder and walk faster.

The quicker we got to Shinra's, the quicker I'd figure out why he was acting so weird. And now here I am, in Shinra's wash room with the hyper active doctor himself.

"Yeah that is!" I say back in a loud whisper. "That _has_ to be him!"

"Izaya's eyes are a strange color of brown and red—they are practically red if you look at them in the right light!" He says back. "There's no way that guy out there, with pink eyes, is Izaya!"

"But who in the world looks exactly like the flea?" I say back, trying my hardest not to yell and have our conversation be heard.

"I don't know? But all I know is is that whoever that person is, it sure isn't Izaya."

"Maybe he's just wearing contacts?" I say, running out of ways to convince not only Shinra, but myself that Izaya really is the one I brought over here.

"I checked, and as weird as it is, he isn't wearing any. Those are his real eyes, Shizuo."

"B-but if that isn't Izaya, then who the fuck—"

Suddenly the door into the washroom bursts open and Izaya jumps in. As he runs over he opens his arms and he slips them in between my arms and hugs me. "Waah! Protect me!"

Dumbfounded, I reply like an idiot. "_Huh_?"

Soon after, Celty steps into view, without her helmet. In her usual leather suit, she sticks her hands up, and begins waving them as if to calm Izaya down.

"HELP ME!" He cries and nuzzles his face into my chest.

With my hands that have absentmindedly moved to the thin man's waist, I watch as Celty pulls her PDA out and begins typing.

[Calm down, Izaya! It's me, Celty!]

Celty holds her PDA out towards Izaya as she takes a step forward. As he Izaya turns to look over his shoulder to see her creep closer, this only makes his grip around my chest tighten considerably.

"PROTECT ME! I'M SCARED!" He cries like a scared little boy.

"Now tell me, Shizuo, would Izaya ever ask you to protect him?" Shinra asks. "And do you really think Izaya would act like this towards _Celty_, of all people?"

Shit. He has a point.

But still… this has to be Izaya!

Who the fuck else could this guy be?

"I don't know? Maybe this is just him fucking around with us?" I say, completely out of reasons to back up my statement.

"WAH! TSU-CHAN, I'M SCARED!" He wails.

There it is again.

'Tsu-chan.'

"Hey Izaya, who's that?" I say looking down at him.

Soon Izaya's head, that was burried in my chest, cocks upwards to look up at me. With bright, hot pink eyes staring up at me, he replies.

"Ne~ Who's 'Izaya,' Tsu-chan?"

With my peripheral, I can see both Shinra and Celty clearly. And just like me, eyes wide, they seem just as confused.

* * *

I am very sory for the mistakes. Since the chapters are really short, I will be updating this a lot. To the people who have read Anonymous and My Brother's Boyfriend, I'll be updating them soon~

Important: The song Psyche was singing wasn't something I came up with! It was the english of the chorus after the second verse in Renai Circulation sung by Hanazawa Kana. Also, there is a cover made by Izaya's seiyuu that isn't that bad. But when he starts laughing in it, I'm sure you will do. I sure did the first time, LOL.

I GOT REVIEWED BY RUKAWAGF AND MISTRESSKIKO, TWO AMAZING SHIZAYA WRITERS.

*Does Caramel Dance* 8D

And thank you to everyone else who reviewed, don't think I forgot! I love you guys! :DD

So tell me whatcha think? :3


	4. Say You Love Me

**Title:** Substitutions.  
**Author:** Heiwajima Shizuo.  
**Rating:** T.  
**Warning:** Swearing, innuendos, a little violence. Rating might go up too.  
**Summary:** After angering Shizuo and getting into a fight with Tsugaru, Izaya and Psyche both switch universes. In the other universe, Izaya meets Tsugaru and in Izaya's universe, Psyche runs into a pissed off Shizuo. Although the informant and debt collector are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Ikebukuro's most dangerous?

Thank you all for the reviews~! :D

Sorry about the mistakes!

* * *

As I roll over, I groan from the hard floor below me. With my eyes still closed, I give myself a few more seconds to drift back asleep.

A few minutes pass, and I cannot seem to fall back asleep.

Oh well.

Pushing the heavy arm around my waist off, I sit up and blink my eyes open a few times. With the bight light coming in from outside, I wince before I look around for my clothes. As I untangle myself from the blue and white kimono around me, I run a hand through my hair.

Well, I guess this can be classified as mission complete depending on how you look at it.

Anyways, the second the warm, muscular arm and kimono are off of me, I am hit with the cold morning air filling the dojo. With slight difficulty getting up, due to my sore bottom, I search the room for my underwear and pants.

Hmm…

Where are they?

Cocking my head to the left, I frown.

So they aren't there.

Damnit! If that sleeping blonde wasn't so careless like Shizuo, I wouldn't be freezing here, completely naked. I swear that man lying naked under his own kimono might as well be that protozoan. But I guess I'm just assuming Shizu-chan is careless, we've never fucked so this is all purely based on what I know.

But I wouldn't surprised if I was right.

Now looking to my right, I see them lying next to the sliding door I assume leads into the hall way of this dojo.

Taking a step forward, I shudder. The floor is cold.

_Very_ cold.

As quietly as possible, I tip toe over to the pile of clothes.

After finally reaching them without waking up Shizu-chan—I mean, Tsugaru, I quickly pull my underwear on, then slide on my black jeans effortlessly. With my left hand, I reach forward and put on both socks and shoes on. Now all is left is my—

What the—?

Where's my shirt and jacket—

"Looking for something?"

You've got to be kidding me.

Turning my head to look over my shoulder, I see Shizu—Tsugaru standing with his kimono hanging over his shoulders as he holds my jacket in his left hand, and my black shirt in his right.

Although I've been caught, that was actually smart of him to hide my shirt and jacket away from me.

As Tsugaru moves his attention away from me, he looks at my jacket, and then at my shirt.

Shirtless, I make my way over to the blonde as he continues to talk. "Psyche, what's with your clothes? Where'd you get them?"

Finally reaching the tall blonde, I snake my arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss, completely ignoring the question.

Automatically, he drops my shirt and jacket to place his hands on my hips and pull me closer. Soon, he slips his tongue into my mouth forcefully, without asking for permission. But to be honest, I don't care.

As he dominates the kiss, hungrily ravishing my mouth like a thirsty animal, I feel something hard poke my thigh.

I smirk at this.

This is going better than planned.

So by now you're probably confused. Well, you might have been confused from the very start and have been asking yourself,

'Did I miss something here?'

And the answer to that is no. You haven't.

But I guess it would be nice of me to back up and tell you what happened up to this point, wouldn't it?

Well, the other evening, when I first met the Shizuo look alike, I learned that his name is really Tsugaru. After I fell on my ass and he began talking. He then called me 'Psyche' and asked me, "Hey Psyche, since when were your eyes red?"

* * *

I close my eyes instead of replying.

I see an opportunity, and I can sure hear it knocking.

"Psyche? It's me, Tsu-chan." Says the Shizuo look alike. "You know, Tsugaru? Do you remember me? Shit, did you forget all about me when you passed out?"

And right there is said opportunity.

Using my amazing information collecting skills, I have already learned the relationship between whoever this 'Psyche' is, and Shizu—Tsugaru.

To begin with, I must strongly resemble this so called' Psyche' since Tsugaru mistook me for him. Also, judging from the fact he straight up _kissed_ me like it was no big deal, Tsugaru and Psyche must be lovers. Lastly, if he continues to believe I am his lover, that means I can use his feelings for 'Psyche' to my advantage.

But before I go any further, what kind of name is 'Psyche'? Seriously.

Then again, 'Izaya' isn't a very common name either.

Anyways, with half lidded eyes, I move to all fours and push the Shizuo look alike, or should I say, Tsugaru back. Startled, he fell back onto his ass as he holds himself up with his hands.

Using the current position he is in, I crawl up his body until I am straddling his waist.

"P-Psyche?" Tsugaru says surprised. "What are you—mmph!"

Cutting him off, I press my lips against his hungrily.

Instantly, he opens his mouth and I slip my tongue into his mouth; the blonde beneath me returning the treatment with his own. Soon, he pushes himself into a sitting position and wraps his arms around my waist as I wrap mine around his neck; deepening the kiss. Using my tongue, I playfully lick around the inside of his mouth, earning a moan from him.

Now you may think I've gone crazy here, which is impossible.

I'm already crazy.

But anyways, I haven't lost my mind.

_Trust_ me.

So why am I making out with this guy who looks exactly like Shizuo, the man I am known to hate?

To make a long story short, although I might end up having to go through it with once again in detail in the near future, I want him.

No, you did not hear wrong.

Like a parasite in my blood stream that I cannot get rid of.

Like an illness no remedy can heal.

Like a stain that just won't go away no matter how many times it is washed.

And just like a scar no amount of makeup can ever cover, I've found it futile trying to push away this wanting.

I mean, why deny it when I can always take the smart course of action and accept it the way it is? Why not just accept the fact I want him more than I should? In a way that makes me want to slap myself silly?

Why not accept the fact I've fallen for someone who would never think twice about feeling anything more than a deep, seething hatred towards me?

Why not just accept the fact this man right here, Tsugaru, is the closest thing I've got to him?

Heiwajima Shizuo.

After both Tsugaru and I pull away, we are both left panting and pink. Opening my eyes I did not notice closed, I am met with a pair of deep blue ones staring at me. The raw emotion in those deep pools makes my heart clench.

Never have I seen such a passionate expression on his face.

... Well I have, but that 'passionate' expression has only been seen in the 'I'm going to fucking slaughter you' kind of way.

As I stare at him, I nearly forget this isn't that protozoan. That this man before me isn't the Shizu-chan I've grown so use to tormenting.

And with that, he reached into my pants and well, you can guess from there how we both ended up naked.

Now back to where I left off before, I am currently in the arms of Tsugaru, a man who looks just like Shizuo, who thinks I am his lover, Psyche.

Parting his lips to speak, Tsugaru's voice, much like Shizuos, he says. "I love you… Psyche." Before gently pressing his lips to mine.

With that, I feel a tiny piece of my heart crumble.

After pulling away, he smiles and I feel my heart crumble once more. "I love you so much, Psyche."

That voice... I've never heard that voice say something so caring.

So gentle.

So... _loving_.

I don't know if this is a dream or if I've stumbled into a Wonderland just like Alice and I don't care if you're not my Shizu-chan, just tell me you want me.

Tell me you love _me_.

Say you love _me_, _Izaya_.

Please…

* * *

I spent all day yesterday asking myself whether or not I should put some angst or keep it funny and well, this is what I've ended up with. The ending took me like, 20 minutes to write D:

So tell me what'cha think? :3


	5. My Name Is Psyche!

**Title:** Substitutions.  
**Author:** Heiwajima Shizuo.  
**Rating:** T.  
**Warning:** Swearing, innuendos, a little violence. Rating might go up too.  
**Summary:** After angering Shizuo and getting into a fight with Tsugaru, Izaya and Psyche both switch universes. In the other universe, Izaya meets Tsugaru and in Izaya's universe, Psyche runs into a pissed off Shizuo. Although the informant and debt collector are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Ikebukuro's most dangerous?

Thank you all for the reviews~! :D

Sorry about the mistakes!

I have no idea where I'm going with this fic, but hopefully I'll end up finishing it unlike my many others s:. But I have a feeling this is going to be a looooooong one.

... That's what she said.

*Laughs at own joke like a loser LOL*

* * *

"For the last time, my name is _not_ Izaya!"

For over an hour, Shinra and I have been interrogating this guy I met in the woods earlier and we soon came to the realization that this isn't Izaya I brought with me.

It absolutely startled me. I mean, this guy sitting on the couch in front of me looks _exactly_ like Izaya and sounds exactly like him! The only difference I see between the two is the fact that this one has abnormal, neon pink eyes and isn't in all that dark, depressing looking clothes.

Other than that, this guy also has the personality of a 5 year old.

At one point, though, I came up with the idea that this might be Izaya's twin brother or something. I've heard from Shinra that Izaya has twin sisters so who knows? Maybe twins run in the Orihara family? But later, after a DNA testing, we learned this guy isn't the flea's brother.

In fact, we learned that these two aren't related at all.

Later we checked his records and we were both shocked. There were absolutely _no_ medical records of this guy. After checking a second time, just in case, we came up empty handed once more.

No files about what hospital he was born in.

No files about where he's from.

Nothing.

Zip.

Nada.

It was like he was from a whole nother universe!

... Did I really just say this guy is from a whole nother universe?

Oh my—I blame that one time I got a lift from Kyohei and got harassed by Erika and Walker. The two otaku's would not shut the fuck up about some girl falling into a well and ending up in the feudal era of Japan.

Damn those two!

Anyways, what we found the strangest was the way he acted around Celty. I mean, no matter how good of an actor the flea is, there was no way of him being able to fake that frightened look in his eyes—

Thinking about it, even _I_ know Izaya wouldn't go to such lengths like begging me to 'protect him.' Acting or not, I know that would bruise his over sized ego too much. We even asked Celty what she thought, and she says she'd know Izaya if he saw him. And desipte the frighteningly strong resemblance, that young man here isn't him.

"What do we do now?" I ask the doctor next to me.

After pushing his glasses up with his middle finger, Shinra sighs looking at me. "Sorry, Shizuo-kun. There isn't much we can do. We've done DNA test, went through restricted files—I even did a few lie detector tests when you went out to smoke… you just have to accept the fact that this _isn't_ Izaya."

"Yeah, because my name is _Psyche_!"

Completely ignoring the pink eyed man on the couch, I try to run various answers in my head.

Uh… wait.

What am I trying to answer in the first place?

I mean, there are so many things I need answered that I don't even know where to begin. Like, why does he keep calling me 'Tsu-chan'? That, out of everything else so far, is what's been bothering me.

Running a hand through my hair, I try to sort out my thoughts when I suddenly feel something tugging at my black vest.

Looking down, I meet a pair of bright pink eyes staring back at me. Sitting on the couch is 'Psyche'.

"Ne, Tsu-chan, why does the man with the glasses keep calling my 'Izaya'?"

"Shizuo," Turning my attention away from the look alike on the couch, I focus on Shinra. "I've just noticed this entire time, he's been calling you 'Tsu-chan', while we were doing the testing and—"

"No duh!" I whip my head back down and look at the young man sitting on the couch. Following him with my eyes as he stands up in front of me, I feel my cheeks heat up as he hooks his arms around my neck. "Why wouldn't I, Psyche, _not_ Izaya, not know my lover's name?"

Shinra's eyes widen along with mine as I feel a pair of lips connect to mine before pulling away seconds after.

Although I am strongly, and I do my strongly, against being kissed by someone who looks just like the flea, I'd rather have him kiss me when Shinra isn't around.

"L-L-LOVER?" Shinra yells in disbelief.

And this is why.

As an imaginary alarm begins to go off in my head, I quickly pull away from Iza—Psyche's embrace and grab his hand before running out of the apartment, leaving behind an extremely confused brunette doctor.

"WAIT, SHIZUO—"

Running past Celty, I cover Psyche's eyes knowing it would only make him scream again. "Bye Celty!"

* * *

"Bye, Celty." I say before closing the door on my helmet wearing friend.

"Is that headless thing gone yet, Tsu-chan?" My shoulders jump at the familiar voice and I turn around to look at Izaya, curled up on the couch, scared. I cannot get use to that voice while I'm at home, a place where I am usually at peace.

After running out of Shinra's apartment, both Psyche and I made my way back to my apartment. And let me just say, I still can't get use to calling someone, who looks just like the fucker who screwed up my high school years, anything other than 'Izaya', 'flea', or my favorite 'that fucking son of a bitch.'

Walking into the elevator, I removed the hand I had over his eyes. Automatically, he turned to look at me and through his arms around my neck. And of course, I was left not knowing what to do. I mean, he's like a small child. I can't treat him the way I'd treat a stranger who hugged me.

When we reached the ground floor, I took a hold of his hand and dragged him out. As soon as we were on the streets, I let go of his hand only to have him start crying like earlier. Once again, people looked at us as he began apologizing. It was then that I realized the only way to stop his incessant crying and sorry's was to take his hand into mine.

As soon as his smaller hand was in my much larger one, I'm pretty sure I heard him cheer.

And just like earlier, he began singing the same, little tune from earlier.

I swear, I think I've got it memorized.

_Swoonily~ swoonity~_  
_When I look at you_  
_Just that will make me_  
_Daze to your radiance_

_Swoonity~ swoonily~_  
_When I think of you_  
_Just that will make me_  
_Melt to the ground_

It's so stupid, I began to wonder if he was making it up in the spot.

But at some point, unlike earlier, I actually paid attention and focused on his voice. What I ended up with surprised me; I was hearing the same voice I've only heard spit out insults and twisted versions of the truth sing some, _fluffy_ and _lovey-dovey _love song.

Although I'm starting to believe this really isn't Izaya, he and Psyche still share the same face. And seeing the same face that's always held that smug look—

That look that says he knows _everything,_ replaced with such a content one—it was so foreign to me, I caught myself staring at him as we walked. As much as I'd hate to admit it, seeing him smile like that at me made my heart pound hard and my body heat up.

That smile—I'm pretty sure no matter how hard I can try to forget it, that image will forever be engraved in my mind.

Anyways, a few minutes after we arrived, there was a gentle knocking on the door. I had just settled Psyche down and I was prepared to get some questions answered.

When the sound of knocking filled the living roomof my apartment, I made my way to the door. Curiously, Psyche ran past me, over to the door, and looked through the eye whole.

It weirded me out to see myself feel so comfortable around someone who looks like Izaya, someone who'd love to cut me open and make my life Hell, stand in my apartment.

After looking through the tiny little whole in the door, he instantly screamed and ran behind me, quivering yelling, "Protect me! It's that headless thing!"

Although he was talking about celty, I found it sort of—kinda—really—adorable—ish, seeing him scared like that.

_Anyways_, as he coward behind me, I told him to sit on the couch and to my surprise, he obeyed me without question.

When I opened the door, my face was rougly shoved with Celty's PDA which read,

[YOU'RE LOVERS WITH A MAN THAT LOOKS LIKE IZAYA?]

Immediately, my face heated up and I quickly told her that she was wrong. But before she even had the chance to erase and start typing her next reply, I told her goodbye and slammed the door on her. Although I probably would never do that to her, of all people, I have another problem to deal with.

And convincing her that I am not lovers with someone who looks like the flea is _not_ it.

Now here I am, alone in my apartment, with someone who insists that we _are_ lovers. As I run a hand through my bleached blonde hair, I walk over to sit on the other end of the couch, "Yeah, yeah. Celty's gone." I say as I look over at the curled up body in white and pink clothing next to me.

Immediately after sitting down, I jump up in surprise as I feel a pair of arms wrap themselves around me tightly before I feel the weight of someone's head on my lap. "Ne~! I was so scared, Tsu-chan!"

"There was no need to be scared, Iza—Psyche." I say back.

There is a small pause before I decide to speak.

'Tsu-chan'...?

"Hey, uh, Psyche?"

"Yes, Tsu-chan?"

"I've bumped my head—" Before I finish my sentence, Psyche immediately sits up and kneels beside me as he looks at me, at eye level, with big, concerned eyes.

"Ne? My Tsu-chan hurt his head?" He yells worriedly. "Let me make it feel better!"

Placing his hands on my shoulders gently, he leans forward and kisses my forehead. Surprised, my eyes widen before he quickly pulls away with a bright smile. "Better?"

Wordlessly I nod my head, feeling myself blush.

"So what were you asking me, Tsu-chan?"

"So I uhm, bumped my head and I need you to tell me about us." This whole time, he's been acting as if we have history together when in reality, I have history with Izaya, not Psyche. So maybe, he shares history with someone I look like. And maybe, this will tell me why he keeps hugging me, kissing me, and more importantly, it'll tell me why he he's been calling me Tsu-chan.

Almost instantly, the small smile fades and it looks like he's about to burst into tears.

Wait, what?

Crap! Uh—

"I can't believe Tsu-chan forgot about me! Tsu-chan forgot about _us_! Wah!"

"NO!" I yeall hoping for him to calm down, "I mean, just jog my memory. I hit my head pretty hard so would you mind, uh helping me remember—?"

"Anything to help my Tsu-chan remember all about the two of us!" He says, his smile returning, before sitting on my lap like a child does when he goes to visit Santa at a mall.

* * *

I've been feeling really tired latel so I am feeling very iffy about this chapter, so tell me what'cha think? And do you guys want some like, angst? I was unsure about the last chapter so yeah.

Bye for now~


	6. Shizuo's and Psyche's Conversation

**Title:** Substitutions.  
**Author:** Heiwajima Shizuo.  
**Rating:** T.  
**Warning:** Swearing, innuendos, a little violence. Rating might go up too.  
**Summary:** After angering Shizuo and getting into a fight with Tsugaru, Izaya and Psyche both switch universes. In the other universe, Izaya meets Tsugaru and in Izaya's universe, Psyche runs into a pissed off Shizuo. Although the informant and debt collector are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Ikebukuro's most dangerous?

Thank you all for the reviews~! :D

Sorry about this late update and the mistakes! D:

I am very sorry for my lame chapter names. I should just erase them all leave them as 'chapter 1', 'chapter 2', and ETC LOL

* * *

"So we got into a fight—"

"Yepp!"

"—You ran off—"

"Uh-huh!"

"—Into the woods—"

"Yeeeepp!"

"—And now we're all ok now?"

"Basically. Or at least I think we're ok now… Are you still mad at me, Tsu-chan?"

Sitting on my lap is Psyche, looking at me wide eyed with a tinge of hurt in his bright pink eyes that makes my heart sink. He looks like and injured puppy… and those big, pink, on the verge of tearing eyes… fuck.

I always have had a weak point towards puppies and that look… that face… it's exactly like that flea's! But despite that, why do I feel so… so… sad looking at him like this? I mean this is the same face I've been wanting to see in tears!

But those tears that look like they are about to fall are there for all the wrong reasons…

Plus, this is a whole different person. This person, or should I say, Psyche, doesn't seem to be anything like Izaya. If he was, I'm pretty sure I would've had a knife struck through my throat within the first 5 minutes of being in my apartment.

Taking the silence the wrong way, a tear rolls down his face.

Shit.

I've never been good with people crying!

"Don't cry! I forgive you!" I say despite the fact I don't know what I'm forgiving him for. As long as he stops crying! For the love of God, please don't cry!

Soon the sad air floating around him fades, and the hurt look in his eyes does too before he quickly hugs me, catching me off guard and I sigh in relief.

"Yay! Tsu-chan forgives me~!" He cheers as he begins to sing happily once more.

_Swoonily~ swoonity~_  
_When I look at you_  
_Just that will make me_  
_Daze to your radiance_

_Swoonity~ swoonily~_  
_When I think of you_  
_Just that will make me_  
_Melt to the ground_

With another sigh, I think back slightly. For the past few minutes we've been sitting on my couch, with Psyche resting happily on my lap, as the pink eyed male talked on and on about what apparently happened earlier today. It made me feel slightly annoyed because, although that explained why he was apologizing to me like I was a fragile little girl, he still didn't answer my question which was—

"What are we?"

Pulling away from hugging me, he looks at me with a blindingly bright smile. "Haha! What do you mean, Tsu-chan?"

"I asked you to help me remember—"

"Oh yeah! Oops!" He says, his face soon contorting as he thinks. "Well, you're name is Tsugaru and my name is Psyche."

There it is again! He keeps calling me 'Tsu-chan'!

I don't know why, but each time he does, something goes off in my head like an alarm that just won't stop. And to tell you the truth, my stomach turns strangely when he does.

Choosing to ignore the uneasiness after being called Tsu-chan, I nod my head to show him I am listening.

"Let's see… what else is there? Oh! You smoke sometimes even though it's really bad for your health."

I smirk at this. Hah. Whoever this so called 'Tsu-chan' is, I guess we have _something_ in common after all, other than us looking alike.

"Hmm… Oh! You're also really, really strong! Like _really_ strong!" He says like a little boy excitedly. "This one time, you were able to stop, and lift up a car with one hand when I ran across the street without looking once!"

Smokes? Strong?

Those are two things I am pretty much _known_ for!

I wonder if this guy Psyche's talking about is stronger than me though… Hmmm…

"But Tsu-chan is always really calm and never uses his strength and seldom gets angry!"

So there's someone out there, who looks just like me, smokes like I do, and is abnormally strong like me, but doesn't get angry like I do?

Even I can't see myself without my impulsive bouts of anger.

"You only do sometimes to protect me and when people are mean to me~!" Psyche says with a bright smile that makes my face heat up embarrassingly. "And I'm really thankful for all those times you've gone and saved me, Tsu-chaaaaan~!"

With a blush that I can feel grow as his face get's closer and closer, he quickly pecks me on the lips and for some reason, the second his lips depart, I am left with the feeling lingering on mine and the urge to connect them to his again.

But I shouldn't.

I shouldn't do it.

And I shouldn't _want_ to do it—

"Ne! I almost forgot! I hope you didn't forget, but you hit your head, so I'll try not to cry if you did," With eyes closing, and a smile that makes my heart melt, he continues. " You wanted to know what we are to each other, right?"

The thought escaped me for a moment, befoer I nod my head remembering.

"You and I are in love with each other and care about one another very, very much!" He says happily.

Shit.

This is probably going to ruin his happy little mood of his but, "What if I told you I wasn't, uh, 'Tsu-chan'?"

Opening his eyes, the once bright and happy pink orbs become shrouded in confusion as he furrows his eyebrows like a perturbed child. "You mean if you weren't Tsu-chan and were someone else?"

"Well, yeah—"

"I'd start crying because I kissed a stranger, scream because I went somewhere I am not familiar with with a stranger, and cry some more because I miss Tsu-chan." He says quickly without mistakes, or stuttering as I realize I am in deep shit.

He really does believe I'm this 'Tsugaru' or should I say, 'Tsu-chan', and not only that, but because of that, he thinks we're lovers.

Well fucking great.

"But why would you follow me, uhm... Tsu-chan, somewhere you don't know?" I ask him curiously.

"Because, silly! I trust Tsu-chan very much! So if anything bad happens, I know he'll always come to rescue me!"

At this, I feel myself smile slightly at how trusting he is of his lover. Or should I say, how trusting he is of _me_.

But before I can say anything, he yawns and says, his voice speaking through it, "I'm tired Tsu-chan!"

* * *

I will be surprised to see I got reviews for this chapter. This is so rushed I can't even /:

Anyways, Thank you everyone who has reviewed, favorited, put this story on alert, and have been waiting for me to update! I've had a lot of school work and sports practices D:

So tell me what'cha think~? :DD


	7. Beauty and the Beast

**Title:** Substitutions.  
**Author:** Heiwajima Shizuo.  
**Rating:** T.  
**Warning:** Swearing, innuendos, a little violence. Rating might go up too.  
**Summary:** After angering Shizuo and getting into a fight with Tsugaru, Izaya and Psyche both switch universes. In the other universe, Izaya meets Tsugaru and in Izaya's universe, Psyche runs into a pissed off Shizuo. Although the informant and debt collector are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Ikebukuro's most dangerous?

Thank you all for the reviews~! :D

When I talk about Izaya and Shizuo past, I've changed it a little so yeah. Just a heads up~

In case you don't know who Tsugaru and Psyche are, google them. Tsugaru looks exactly like Shizuo, but with blue eyes and in a blue and white kimono. Psyche looks exactly like Izaya, but in pink and white clothing, with pink eyes, and has pink and white headphones.

So yeah~

* * *

Looking back at my teenage years, I can't help but laugh at how stupid I was.

Academically, I couldn't have been more perfect. I got flawless grades despite being the trouble maker I was and still am, and aced all of my exams without errors. I did absolutely _amazing_.

Physically, I was rather skinny, but not too skinny. I was lean really, and average in terms of height. If you asked anyone I went to Raijin with then, I was actually rather handsome. I was quite the looker, and if possible, I'm as attractive as can be right now. Left and right, I had girls blushing at the sight of me and a few guys switching teams, if you know what I mean. It was rather amusing seeing the reactions I got, especially out of the guys. Sure, the girls blushed, but when it came to the guys well… I always hoped that they don't run into any walls with that painful looking bugle in their pants.

Thinking about what I looked like then, my hair hasn't changed much since my year's attending the school. Same goes for my face, actually. It barely even looks like I've matured. The only major difference in terms of appearance is the fact I'm a few inches taller than I was as a teen and that I wear different clothing.

Mentally, I was strong enough to probably survive a war and had the stamina to go for days without much sleep. Nothing ever confused me to the point I was clueless. In fact, I was usually the one who made people clueless, it was never the other way around. I was always able to predict how situations would turn out too. In fact, I still am able to.

Right now I am mentally strong enough to keep information away from those who want it, even if I am to be tortured until I spill. But oh, I never do tell.

Not without a price, that is.

And that, dear kids, is what makes me a perfect example of an informant.

Anyways, back to my ramblings about my teenage life.

Socially, I was known throughout the school as a charmer, and was quite popular despite being prone to cause mischief wherever I went. I had an abnormally large amount of admirers and was well-liked by the girls, actually.

It makes me smile each time I think about how terribly blind all those girls were. I was like the bad boy their parents warned them about, but because they were such idiots, they went against their parents and pined for me. Sure I'd flirt with them, just to keep up with my lady's man reputation, but ir never really did mean anything. In the end, I became a little heart breaker here and there when I needed to be.

I didn't reject girls because it was a hobby of mine—although I did get a few laughs out of it. It's just how life is; not everyone is going to like you.

In this case, if someone has feelings for you, but you don't have any for them, what would you do?

Would you string them along and say you feel the same way when really, you don't? And ended up causing them more pain than needed? Or would you let them down and avoid anymore complications by ending it there? Just stop before things get out of hand?

Yeah.

That's what I thought.

So in a way, I was merely doing those girls a favor by rejecting them. Even though they were after my heart, mine seemed to be after someone else's.

And this, kids, is where things get _interesting_.

Emotionally, I was rather—well, let's put it this way—this is where my laughable stupidity kicks in.

What captured my heart, the way I captured many others, is quite humiliating really. Of all the people I had to fall for, I had to fall for him…

Heiwajima Shizuo.

The beast of Ikebukuro and quite frankly, one of the scariest, only when angry, and strongest people you will probably ever meet. Unless you were to meet a half elephant, half man creature—

I take it back. Shizu-chan is much stronger than an elephant.

In fact, he has the strength to take on 30 of them if he wanted to.

He probably could with one hand behind his back too.

But anyways, before I go any further; let me at least explain myself.

Well, I don't actually have an explanation for how and why I felt and still feel this way about a brute like him. But all I know is that at one point, I just did. One day I woke up and realized that this burning passion I had towards him wasn't the hate everyone else thinks it is.

No.

One day I woke up and I realized that maybe, just maybe, I didn't hate him. That my constant teasing was just my juvenile way of getting his attention. It may not have been one of my brightest moments as a teenager, but I did get what I wanted.

And that is well, how the beauty fell in love with the beast.

Strange, isn't it?

So now dear readers, I have a question for you all. It's a really simple one and I'm pretty sure most of you will say yes. Anyways, have you ever heard the saying 'be careful what you wish for'?

Well, this is sort of where that quote applies.

Because of my constant teasing and mocking of my dear Shizu-chan, he became rather angry at me and constantly tried to hurt me. Even when I did nothing, he would come at me at full force.

Although he never did get me, probably because I am far too fast and graceful to be caught by someone like him, he always tried and tried and well, tried. Up to this day, he still has _yet_ to leave even the littlest scratch on me.

Everyday we'd go at it. I'd mock him, he'd get mad, and he's chase me and we'd leave the school a mess; I finally got what I wanted,

His attention.

But so what if I finally got his attention? It doesn't mean shit if he only wanted to throttle me every time his amber orbs landed on me.

Underneath my smug smirk and malice laugh was my tiny little heart breaking each time he said those three, tiny, one syllable, insignificant yet significant words to me, my surprisingly fragile little heart would crack under all the pressure those words exerted.

Even though I was mentally strong enough to go through anything thrown at me that would make a normal person go insane, there was that one little phrase I just couldn't handle…

_"I hate you."_

That voice…

Shooting my eyes open, I sit up, panting heavily as I realize I was just asleep.

As I feel a shiver go down my spine, I notice I am shirtless and once again, next to a man lying down, asleep, who happens to look and sound exactly like the protozoan who has stolen my heart years ago.

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I feel a bead of sweat run down the side of my head before running my hand through my black hair. Averting my eyes from the wall in front of me, they quickly find their to the rising and falling chest if the blonde next to me.

As my crimson eyes trail along the toned abs, they soon make their way higher up until I am left staring at the sleeping face of the man who'd rather have me dead then be with.

But just like all those girls I've rejected, I'll just have to suck it up and live with the fact that he doesn't want me and most likely, never will.

The truth hurts. It really does.

Whoever has ever said they 'can handle the truth' can go fall off the face of the earth. No one can ever truly handle the truth without being hurt, even the slightest.

But I guess this is the world's way of getting back it me. Karma's way of slapping me across the face for all those thoughtless, harsh rejections.

"Fuck…" I mutter to myself as I bring my hand up to cup the face of the sleeping man next to me. "It's almost pathetic how sad this situation is."

It's almost scary how he looks just like Shizu-chan. He even sounds like him too.

I wonder when, he isn't so angry at me, if this is what he looks like when he's asleep. If he's really capable of looking so peaceful… and calm.

Soon, the slumbering man's eyes open and a pair of deep, blue eyes are staring into mine. With a sleepy smile creeping onto his face, he places his much larger hand over mine, "Hey…"

That smile… is this what Shizu-chan would like if he smiled at me?

"Hey, are you ok?"

Is that what he would look, and sound like if he was worried about me?

Nodding my head as if saying 'yes', he smiles once more and I feel my heart strain at the sight, "I'm glad you're ok." He says, his half-lidded eyes as sleepy as his smile.

And that face…

"Hey, Psyche…"

I almost forget that he thinks I'm someone else. Quickly, I give my head a small nod once more.

Just who I this Psyche—

"I love you."

—because whoever he is, I wish I was him. I wish I had the heart of this man next to me.

My own replacement Shizu-chan…

_"I hate you…" _

All those times he's told me that… they just seem to echo on and on…

I hate you too, Shizu-chan…

I hate your stupid, bleached-blonde hair I search Ikebukuro for.

I hate your stupid bartender outfit I am always left scanning a crowd for.

I hate your stupid sunglasses that hide your captivating eyes.

I hate the way you bring out my childish side out when I tease you.

I hate the way you've left your mark on me with those three words.

And I hate you for hurting me and leaving scars on my heart that won't heal.

I hate you…

I fucking hate you, Shizu-chan…

Hah.

Who am I kidding?

* * *

Tell me what'cha think? :3 Sorry about the mistakes~!


	8. The Day Izaya First Cried

**Title:** Substitutions.  
**Author:** Heiwajima Shizuo.  
**Rating:** T.  
**Warning:** Swearing, innuendos, a little violence. Rating might go up too.  
**Summary:** After angering Shizuo and getting into a fight with Tsugaru, Izaya and Psyche both switch universes. In the other universe, Izaya meets Tsugaru and in Izaya's universe, Psyche runs into a pissed off Shizuo. Although the informant and debt collector are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Tokyo's most dangerous?

Sorry about the mistakes!

**A/N:** To save me time and to make things easier, I made it so Shizuo and Izaya have already gotten over the whole names thing (calling Psyche and Tsugaru by their names) xD.

* * *

As the thunder roared outside, I lied awake in bed, staring at the wall with tired eyes.

Trying to make the best of my situation by grabbing my pillow and placing it over my uncovered ear, I closed my eyes and growled. How the _fuck_ is anyone suppose to sleep through storm?

Yeah, it was the weather and no one on earth has the ability to change that but honestly. It's as though the world _wanted_ to piss me off. I had a long, strange, and extremely confusing day and I _really_ needed some rest. But no. The world just had to be a bitch and start growling while bright flashes of light came randomly.

Fucking weather. It was nice out earlier, so why was it complete shit all of a sudden?

_Boom_.

Well, there goes the thunder again.

And again.

And again.

At the point I sat up, threw my pillow across the room in frustration, before falling back onto my matress. With a deep breath, I sighed.

I was tired and I needed some sleep, damnit! After all that had happened in one day, who _wouldn't_ be worn out?

_Thump. Thump._

Soon, there was the sound of someone's footsteps mixed in with soft whimpering and sniffling, as though someone had a runny nose. The footsteps then got louder and louder, though I was able to tell they were trying to be quiet. Catching my attention, my body tensed on it's own, my eyes remaining closed. Who the fuck was that?

As my door creaked open slowly, the footsteps continued until they stopped at the side of my bed. By then I had hand clenched into a tight fist under my blanket, ready to swing.

"Ts-Tsu-Tsu-ch-chan?" Instantly, my hand released it's death grip though my body remained tense at the familiar voice.

With something poking my arm gently, I sat up and turned to my right to see a dark haired figure in one of my bartender shirts. The shirt was multiple sizes too big. The sleeves and shirt itself hung past his knees giving him the look of a small child playing dress-up.

After blinking a few times, I squinted my eyes in hopes of seeing into the darkness better. Suddenly there was a flash of lightning from outside, elluminating my dark room. Finally I was able to get a good glimpse of him. But as soon as I did I frowned.

His bright pink eyes sparkled as tears began to roll down his pale face, his lower lip quivering as his body shook uncontrollably. The sight made my heart heavy.

"Tsu-ch-chan?" Psyche sobbed, hugging a pillow tightly to his chest. Before I was able to reply, lightning flashed and he flinched, screaming in fear.

I shifted to sit on the edge of my bed. Sitting in front of the whimpering male, I brought a hand up to his shoulder, "Psyche?"

Immediately my insticts kicked in and I brought my other hand to wipe at the tears on his face. Though something within me irked me since he looked just like him, I continued to wipe his tears as he mumbled sadly.

"Tsu-chan..." There was a flash of lightning and a big 'boom' and he screamed once more.

Dropping the pillow, he cried out and wrapped his arms around me before sobbing downward into my shoulder. My eyes widened at the sudden embrace. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him close, though I was a little apprehensive at first when I saw his face.

That face that always seemed to cause me trouble... the face of that _flea_.

"Ts-Tsu-chan... I'm s-scared!" He stuttered, hiccuping as he continued to cry loudly. "I-I'm so s-scared! I... I... Tsu-chan..."

There was a strange feeling in my chest and I couldn't quite describe. Maybe it had to do with the fact he kept calling me 'Tsu-chan' and maybe it was the fact that I was unable to get over the fact that he looked just like him. I'm not quite sure.

But all I knew at the time was that this pure, innocent male had the mind and workings of a child and that he was sincerely frightened. Though I never went through the scared-of-lightning-and-thunder-phase a lot of kids did, I can relate to the feeling of fear.

Surprising right? Even a monster like me is capable of being afraid every once in a while. But hey, in the end, I'm human. And well... everyone's scared of something.

As I listened to him whimper some more, my mind began to wander off. Soon the image of his scared face and tearful eyes came into my mind and I couldn't help but wonder, is that what Izaya would look like if he was scared? And listening to him cry like this...

There was a strange jab at my heart and I decided I didn't like the sound of image of a scared Izaya. It was ironic considering the fact all I've ever done to him was try to scare him into leaving me alone. But now that I found out what he'd look and sound like, it changed my whole perspective.

"Tsu-chan... p-please l-let me stay with y-you!" Psyche sobbed loudly into my shoulder and I sighed quietly. I never was good with dealing with children. Especially when the so called kid I'm dealing with is a fully grown man that looked exactly like the flea.

It was pretty safe to say I was clueless as to what to do. My arms loosened around him slightly at the thought of the flea and he immediately began to panick, clinging onto me tighter, crying louder more desperately. "No! Tsu-chan! Pl-please don't let me g-go!"

The pancikd sound in his voice pulled me back and with another sigh, I stood up. Psyche then took a step back, his arms still hooked around my neck not wanting to let me go as he stood in his toes. As I looked down at him, more tears began to run down his pale face, "Tsu-chan?"

"Are you scared of thunder and lightning?"

Though it was a pretty safe bet to say yeah, he was, I decided to ask anwyay. With a weak nod, I gave his head a small pat before reaching to unwrap his arms around me for him.

"If you want, I guess you can sleep with me." I said before he wrapped his arms around my chest and smiled brightly.

"Thank you, Ts-Tsu-chan!" With that, he hoped onto my bed, grabbing my arm and pulling me down onto the mattress next to him.

As I lied there, still very sleepy, I closed my eyes. The bed then began to shift as Psyche moved closer to me and crawled towards me, lifting up my arm and putting it around him as he cuddled against me. After making himself comfortable, he brought an arm up and wrapped it across my stomach and held me close like a child holding his favorite stuffed animal.

There was the sound of a soft, small yawn and a sigh of relief, "Thanks," He paused and yanwed, "Tsu-chan, I was really scared! But I'm not anymore, now that I'm with you..."He trailed off, falling asleep with a small snore.

Turning and looking ath the man next to me, I watched as his stomach inflated only to deflate with a steady rhythm. The arm he had around me gripped the side of my shirt opposite to him and he began to mumble quietly.

"Tsu-chan... Tsu-chan... I love you too..." He nuzzeled his face against my chest and I blushed.

Even though I've had girlfriends before and we've ended up in bed, cuddling like this, why have I never blushed like this when it was with them? After debating the fact that Psyche is a guy, I quickly decide gender isn't why. And since gender was the only rational answer I had up my sleeve, I was left even more confused.

Not only was I trying to make sense of the whole Psyche situation, but now I had my own, personal confusion to deal with. It sucked. I was terrible with feelings, especially mine.

Though the smaller, innocent male next to me had fallen asleep, I had yet do the same. Despite my eye lids feeling heavy, I just could not sleep.

* * *

It was the day I cried for the first time in my life, minus my days as a baby. I just didn't know it at the time.

As the thunder roared outside, I awoke in bed, staring at the ceiling with tired eyes.

My eyes soon widen at the unfamiliar ceiling and I sit up quickly. Looking around me, I realized I wasn't in the part of the dojo I met Tsugaru in. In fact, the place I woke up in looked like an entirely different place.

The bed I was in was in the far corner of a fairly average sized bedroom and around me were pink, white, and blue things that made my head spin. Never before had I seen so much of the same colors all in one place.

Getting up, I made my way towards the wall to the left of the bed. In front of me were dozens and dozens pictures of Tsugaru and, who I assumed was, Psyche.

As I stood there, I felt my heart crumble with every picture my curious eyes drifted to. They looked so glad to be with each other and so glad to _have_ one another. Please don't mind me repeating myself but it hurt. It all hurt so much.

Why have we ended up like this, Shizu-chan?

Why have he ended up so far away from what I wanted?

Why do you hate me so much? I never meant for that...

Absentmindedly, I brought a hand up to one of the picture of Psyche kissing Tsugaru on the cheek as the blonde blushed.

Why couldn't we have turned out like _this_ instead?

My eyes then drifted to a picture of Tsugaru holding up a sign saying "Happy birthday, I love you!", the picture obviously taken by Psyche.

At that, my already crumbling heart weakened greatly. I almost forgot. We never ended up like this because of one, critical variable. That variable being you don't feel the same way.

"You don't love me and probably will spend the rest of your life hating me..." I couldn't stand my voice at that moment. I sounded so weak, it was pitiful.

Right before I turned away, unable to look at those picture anymore, there was one little picture that caught my eye. It was taped near the bottom of the wall and I crouched, arms around my knees, down to get a better look.

At first I thought I was only seeing things but after closer expection, I was proved right. But words couldn't describe how much I wanted to be _wrong_. In the picture, Tsugaru and Psyche were dressed up in Halloween costumes, kissing each other.

Tsugaru in a bartender outfit like Shizuo's and Psyche in a dark fur trimmed jacket like mine.

As the thunder outside continued to roar, rain began to fall. Ironically, it started as soon as a tear began to roll down my face. Still crouched down, I hid my face in my folded arms around my knees. The single tear soon turned into tear after tear streaming down my cheeks before tuning into full on crying.

Those two looked so... happy.

So joyous.

So cheerful.

So content.

So in-love.

They looked just like us and so much like what I've always wanted _us_ to be.

Soon I closed my eyes, tears falling from my eyes relentlessly. Why was this so painfully ironic? If it weren't for the crying, I would've laughed at it all.

"I-I hate this..." I mumbled to myself, ashamed.

I never cried before. Not when I lost contact with my family. Not when my grandparents died when I was younger. Not when I broke up with the few girls I dated. I barely even cried as a baby, according to my parents. So why... why now?

After bottling all of these tears since high school, why have they decided to fall _now_?

I was doing such a good job of holding it in too...

As the thunder outside continued, a heard a door open and my body tensed.

"Psyche?" Soon there were arms around my balled up body from behind and I refused to turn to look at him. I just couldn't.

"Psyche, it's me!"

"Tsu-kun?" God. I sounded so pathetic.

Though I wasn't sure if that was what Psyche called Tsugaru, I took a chance. Since the blonde didn't seem to mind the name at all, I took a mental note of it.

"Psyche, it's ok now. I'm here." There was a pause and a loud 'boom' along with a huge flash of lightning from outside. Continuing to sob rather shamefully, I tried to erase that image of those two dressed up as us.

Though it hurt me a lot, I was able to handle my unrequited feelings.

I was able to handle my regrets; able to handle the fact I was the reason he hated me so. I was able to handle the fact that we weren't together. I was able to handle the fact we wouldn't be together.

And it was because I was able to manipulate my feelings that I never cried over him before.

But what I _wasn't_ able to handle was seeing a picture of what could've happened.

And like that, this dam of tears finally broke, leaving me a forlorn, balled up mess, crying in the arms of the man who looked exactly like the one I desired so.

"I love you, Shizu-chan..." I mumble quietly, my lips quivering as I spoke.

"What was that?" Tsugaru asked, as I unfolded my arms and turned to face him. With more tears streaming down my face upon seeing his, I reached forward and held him.

"I love you..." I held him tighter, burrying my face in his chest.

"It's ok, Psyche-chan. The storm will calm down soon. Until then, though, I'll stay with you."

And as the thunder continued to roar outside, the rain conitued to pour, my tears falling just as heavily.

* * *

**A/N:** So I was planning on replying to the reviews for the previous chapter, but when I realized there were a lot, I decided not to lol. Thanks for all the reviews everyone! And thanks for the feedback, **L. Lamperouge**! Hopefully the switch from Shizuo POV to Izaya's was ok ^^

Btw, I'm sorry I haven't updated this is a long time. It's pretty sad because it really has been a long time. I just hope this wasn't a let down after such a long wait ;AAA;

So anyways, tell me what'cha think? :3

I have new fics up too! So I don't make this a monster of an author's note, which it probably already is, here are the short descriptions of the fics.

**Down With Love:** Nanny!Izaya woking for Shizuo.

**Popsicle:** Izaya eating a popsicle in a sedutive way, makes Shizuo's blood run not only to his face (;

**Toys:** It's basically just me writing about Shizuo and Izaya having sex for multiple chapters, lololol.


	9. But He Didn't Love Me

**Title:** Substitutions.  
**Author:** Heiwajima Shizuo.  
**Rating:** T.  
**Warning:** Swearing, innuendos, a little violence. Rating might go up too.  
**Summary:** After angering Shizuo and getting into a fight with Tsugaru, Izaya and Psyche both switch universes. In the other universe, Izaya meets Tsugaru and in Izaya's universe, Psyche runs into a pissed off Shizuo. Although the informant and debt collector are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Tokyo's most dangerous?

Sorry about the mistakes!

**Important!:** Izaya's POV is the continuation of his POV from the previous chapter and Shizuo's is his POV 2 months after Izaya and Psyche switched.

* * *

It was evening and I sat there, my tears coming to a slow stop. My breathing was cut up into short, uneven breaths, and my head throbbed in my ears loudly. My eyes were swollen from sobbing quietly and though I couldn't see them, I knew for a fact they were a dark pink.

Through all the crying, Tsugaru held me tight. That actually caused more tears to fall as I fought with myself internally.

One side told me that by taking advantage of his feelings, I'd only be hurting myself in the long run because he didn't love me. He loved who I looked like.

But at the same time, another part of me was telling me I that _should_ take advantage of the situation because it would be the closest to Shizuo I'd ever get.

And judging by the way I didn't move out of his arms but also didn't lean into him, I was stuck in between.

With swollen-from-crying eyes, I wiped my face. Seeing how wet my jacket's sleeve had became, I sniffled pitifully.

Crying really was as pathetic as I always thought it was. I always saw those who cried as weak, pathetic creatures to be looked down upon and pitied. Emotions stopped those from doing their best. Emotions got in the way.

_Emotions made people weak._

So at that moment, words could not describe how incredibly low I felt. It was like being the shameful little organism at the bottom of the food chain.

I felt so... so... _vulnerable_.

I didn't like it at _all_.

The feeling of being so easily broken down and feeling so powerless—It was so different from what I had always been used to. My entire life I was always in control. I planned ahead, I paid people, I played on the minds of others... I did eveything I could to ensure I was in control.

But, for the first time in my life, I was not in control.

And the way I lost control of my stupid little feelings made me feel even weaker. If I couldn't control the people around me, that wasn't as bad as being unable to manage my own feelings because what did that say about me? The great informant, Orihara Izaya, couldn't even handle a few pitiful emotions.

And like it wasn't bad enough, I _cried_ for the first time over something that wasn't even _human_.

He wasn't human.

I knew it.

He knew it.

The world knew it.

He was a _monster_.

A beast that couldn't control his strength, actions, temper, or impulse.

A being that most feared and avoided.

But despite what the people of Tokyo think of him, and despite his flaws that would normally scare someone, he did anything but scare me.

_I loved him_.

His power, his irrationality, his act-now-think-after way of thinking—everything from his bar tender appearance to the raging animal beneath, _I loved all of him_.

_But he didn't love me. _

After sniffling a little more, I finished wiping off my face. My sleeve was soaked completely and the tears that rolled down my neck caused the collar of my shirt to become rather damp. Shifting a little, I broke free from the blonde's hold.

At this, his eyes widened slightly as I stood up. My face was expressionless.

I shouldn't have used his feelings for someone identical to me to my advantage, even if it was only once, and I shouldn't play along. He isn't my Shizu-chan. Despite the striking resemblance between the both of them, no matter what, this man before me was not who I've always wanted.

"Psyche? Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm just fine..." I trailed off. The concern in his eyes was almost heart breaking.

To be honest, I've never been one to have much of a conscious. In fact, I probably would have cared less whether or not I hurt Tsugaru. But for some reason, there was something in me that made me feel exceedingly guilty.

I couldn't pretend to be Psyche.

I just couldn't.

Walking past him, I went towards the bed and laid down. After positioning myself close the the wall next to it, I curled up into a miserable little ball.

Not only was I upset over the strong, unrequited feelings I had for the blonde, I also had to deal with my feelings in general. I was a mess. My emotions were running wild and I couldn't supress them. Though I managed to stop crying for a minute, my eyes began to sting with a familiar feeling once more.

"Shit." With tears roling down my face once more, they slipped down my pale cheeks and hit the bed beneath me silently. A few seconds after getting onto the bed, I felt the mattress shift under Tsugaru's weight as he climbed on.

The kimono-clad blonde stayed there and laid next to me, eyes filled with concern and something else. Something else I couldn't quite place my finger on.

"Psyche, please, stop crying." His voice was soft, gentle, and sweet. This caused the tears to fall faster and harder.

The way Tsugaru spoke to me... it was the polar opposite of the way Shizuo talked to me. He lifted his hand to cup my face tenderly, using his thumb to wipe away the tears that rolled from my eyes. Absentmindedly, I leaned into his caring hand.

His touch... it was nothing like Shizuo's. Or at least how I imagined it. If the debt collector had the chance to touch me in anyway he'd like, I was sure it would have only resulted in a black eye and multiple dark bruises.

"Please, Psyche, stop crying. I'm here now and I always will be."

No... Please.

Don't say that.

Not with that face...

Not with that voice...

Positioning himself just a few inches from me, he wrapped an arm around me and pecked me sweetly on the lips. Though the contact did not last long, it was enough to send my heart running on overdrive. There was just so much running around in my head at the time, and I was so emotionally beaten, I just laid there, unable to move.

Frozen, the only part of my slowly numbing body that moved was my chesting inflating and delfating as I inhaled and exhaled shakily. My lips trembled as he pulled away to kiss my forehead affectionately, my already rapidly beating heart speeding up.

"I'll always be with you, never think otherwise, Psyche." It was strange, for some reason, the room was dead silent. I couldn't even hear my jagged breathing at all. The only thing that I heard was the fast and consistent thumping of my heart and Tsugaru's voice.

Despite having so many thoughts, I wasn't able to think of anything.

All thoughts just ended up running into one another, creating a jumbled mess that was my mind.

And for once, I wasn't thinking ahead. For once, I didn't have anything planned out in my head. Insead, I decided to just stay still and let whatever happen, happen.

This is what I had always wanted, right? To be loved by Heiwajima Shizuo.

But I just couldn't accept such emotions if it wasn't from him.

But if I didn't accept it, I would be losing the closest thing to him I had.

Ugh! There were so many conflicting though, I was just confusing myself!

As I stayed there, a pitiful mess, Tsugaru continued to hold me close. His every word breaking my heart.

"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you, Psyche." He trailed off and as much as I'd like to say I saw it coming, what he said next made my eyes go wide and danger run through my spine, "But you're not him, are you?"

* * *

To save some time and make things easier for me, let's just skip all the little details, ok?

It had been around 2 months or so since first meeting Psyche. Being with someone like him had proved to be quite surprising. At first, I thought it would be a terrible experience, but it was nothing close to terible.

For one thing, being with him had made me happier than I was before he came into my life. Accidental or not, I'm was glad he stumbled into me and stuck around.

After a month or so after meeting me, Psyche had realized I wasn't his lover. When I asked him how he knew, he said he just did.

At first he thought 'Tsu-chan' was just acting strange, but after a while, he realized that was just how I was. When he told me this, I was scared he would run away from me. Like he told me before, he said he would be scared going somewhere with a complete stranger and my feelings for him had been at an all time high at the time. But after finding out I'd do anything but harm him, Psyche continued to stay with me.

As I lied on my side, the figure next to me in bed shifted. I open my eyes tiredly. A small smile poked the corner of my lips until I was fully grinning. With a smile of his own, Psyche wore one of my baggy t-shirts. It was about four sizes too big on him and it was actually rather adorable to see him in it.

"Good morning, Shizuo-san!" He said, his smile bright and full of energy despite his sleepy magenta eyes.

I furrowed my eyebrows slightly from being addressed so formally, "Hey, what did I say about calling me 'Shizuo-san'?" I teased and Psyche's expression changed completely.

"I-I'm so so sorry—Ah!" I moved to press my lips against his. He yelped in surprise and I smiled as I pulled away.

Every morning, we'd go through his usually routine. I liked it, actually. And I loved the thought of waking up to him every morning.

Oh. I almost forgot to say despite looking exactly like that God forsaken flea, who I hadn't seen around for a while, actually, I somehow started developing feelings for Psyche. I couldn't quite place a finger as to why, but there was just something about his sweet personality, childish nature, and sincere charm that drew me in.

The way his eyes lit up when he saw me. How easily his smile affected me. His adorably innocent way of doing and saying things… I loved everything about him.

_I loved all of him._

_I loved him._

"Ne! D-Don't do that!" Psyche's face was a bright pink. His bottom lip was out, pouting. I couldn't help but chuckle slightly. He really was cute. "You know I l-love Tsu-chan!"

_But he didn't love me. _

"I'd feel bad for kissing anyone who w-wasn't him…"

Unfortunately, Psyche was unable to return my feelings.

I admit the fact that he couldn't and didn't feel the same way hurt. And even though Psyche never noticed it, it really upset me when he refused to accept my advances. Though my advances were just a little kiss, peck, hug, and small gestures like that, he always pushed them away before anything serious was actually said or done.

"But it was just a kiss." I said simply. "Remember our deal? When you stop calling me 'Shizuo-san' I'll stop kissing you whenever you say it."

My smile widened as his pout grew.

Furrowing his eyebrows, he whined slightly, "Then _what_ do you want me to call you, Shizuo-san?"

His eyes widened.

He brought a hand to cover his mouth as if he had said something wrong. But before he was able to bring it to his face, I stopped him. With his small, gentle hand in my larger one, I leaned in and kissed him again quickly.

With a smile, I answered him. "_You_ come up with something."

Huffing cutely, he playfully began to hit my chest.

Cute.

Though there were no intentions of actually trying to hurt me, I faked hurt, a small 'ow' falling from my lips. Instantly, his attacks came to a stop and he moved close. Wrapping his arms around my stomach, he nuzzled his face against my chest where he had be assaulting.

"I'm sorry! Are you hurt? I didn't mean to—!"

I chuckled. "It's fine and so am I, Psyche-chan."

Letting go, Psyche sat up and kneeled next to me. His arms were crossed and he was blushing, his cheeks noticeably pink due to his pale skin. "Ne! Don't do that! I thought Shizuo-san was actually hurt!"

With my smile still in place, I propped myself up with an arm and pecked him sweetly on the lips. "No matter what comes at me, it's never enough to hurt me, Psyche-chan."

"But still…"

"Just remember, no matter how much my body goes through, it'll never hurt me, ok?"

Ruffling his hair, he nodded before running off to make the both of us breakfast. But before he climbed off the bed, I leaned in to try and steal a quick kiss. Soon noticing the close proximity and my motives, he quickly moved away and ran out of the room.

After the door closed behind him, I brought a hand to run through my hair. I sighed and closed my eyes.

It was true. No matter what happened to my body—no matter how badly beat up I ended up, it was _never_ be enough to hurt me. I'd feel nothing at all.

Maybe my body would be sore, but it wasn't enough for me to say it was painful.

Despite having such a strong exterior that most people feared, I was actually hurting pretty bad on the inside. I never felt that way about anyone until I had met Psyche. In fact, I've never felt so strongly. Well, if you don't include the deep hatred I had for the flea.

But still. I was like a little boy crushing on a little girl for the first time and I was rather upset over the thought of being rejected so much by Psyche.

Now that I thought about it, I was able to remember what he said to me when he first found out.

The first time he had rejected me.

The exact words that said he'd never feel the same way…

"I know you like me more than I like you, and I'm sorry I can't feel the same way about you. But I do care about you, Shizuo-san. But I'm in love with Tsu-chan and I'd feel bad for cheating on him. I love you too. But I love Tsu-chan more. You are really nice, Shizuo-san, and I'm really happy because you've been so kind to me, but you're not my Tsu-chan."

_You're not my Tsu-chan._

I knew I was not his so called 'Tsu-chan.'

But whether he liked it or not, I was his Shizuo-san.

He had my head.

He had my mind.

He had my body.

He had my heart.

He had me.

And it hurt to know I couldn't have any of _him_.

* * *

A/N: I am so sorry if none of that made sense ;A;

Please review! ^^


	10. Simple Things

**Title:** Substitutions.  
**Author:** Heiwajima Shizuo.  
**Rating:** T.  
**Warning:** Swearing, innuendos, a little violence. Rating might go up too.  
**Summary:** After angering Shizuo and getting into a fight with Tsugaru, Izaya and Psyche both switch universes. In the other universe, Izaya meets Tsugaru and in Izaya's universe, Psyche runs into a pissed off Shizuo. Although the informant and debt collector are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Tokyo's most dangerous?

Hi, Julia~! I'll go update Anonymous and Love Shuffle for you.

... Later.

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Love.

A small, four letter word with one syllable.

A straight forward—simple, emotion.

But when one thinks about it, it is always the simple things that are the hardest to understand; it is the simple things that tend to be the most confusing.

Even when something is simple, everyone tends to over look it and what was once simple turns into a whirlpool of confusion. Because we assume there's more to what is in front of us, the assumptions one makes lead to over-thinking. And that over-thinking leads to emotions running high and thoughts one normally would not have.

Our thoughts end up turning on us and we read too far and too much into something so short and so little.

Our minds, that was once a straight path, turns into a maze we end up losing ourselves in. And once we find ourselves there, we wander further and further until we are lost completely. With unknowing eyes, search and search for a way out when really, all we do is push ourselves deeper and deeper in until finally, we find ourselves at the end of our ropes, lost, and unable to continue looking for an exit that may very well not exist.

I did not speak for everyone, but I did speak for myself when I said simplicity was a rather contradictory term because of that.

Nothing is simple. Nothing ever is or was.

But then again, I might have been over-looking this too. Even if I did see myself as a being close to that of a God, there were still _many_ things I did not know and things I was never able to find out.

"A God…" Mumbling to myself, I hugged my legs and burried my face in my knees. After a few moments went by, an errie silence filling my empty ears, I looked up. A few feet away was a window. Sun was shining and I squinted my puffy, tired eyes. The sound of water dripping outside from last night's thunderstorm combined with the sound of birds were singing was heard clearly.

As my emotions seemed to rage inside, everything on the outside seemed so… peaceful. And as dead as I was on the outside, on the inside, I couldn't have been anymore alive. Sitting on Tsugaru's bed in the corner of his room, the only light coming in from outside, I stared at said light that found it's place on the wooden floor. I saw dust floating in mid air and I breathed in deeply, mumbling to myself once more.

"A God."

It was ironic.

A God was a being that everyone loved and who loved everyone in return. Or so they say. But unlike a God, I was not loved. Despite my somewhat cruel, sadistic love I had for all of humanity, there was only one thing I truly loved. And it was this one dense, impulsive, monsterous, protzoan. And at the state I was in at that moment, he was the _only_ thing I loved. My once, gigantic ego had deflated with each tear I shedded the previous night, leaving me left alone with unrequited feelings and self-pity.

I hated myself and never once had I felt so low.

"Have you ever heard the saying, 'you can't love anyone without learning to love yourself?'" Immediately, I cocked my head. Standing in the door way was Tsugaru, calm and relaxed.

Like he ever wasn't.

"Have you?" I shook my head. "Well now you do. Good thing too. It seems like you might need to learn yourself."

"Wait, a second, how did you know I…?" I trailed off weakly. I couldn't keep talking. The sound of my voice filled my ears and I hated it. The power that once flowed out of my mouth disguised as sharp, venomous words was gone and in it's place was something that indicated the vulnerablity I possessed and hid shamefully.

"How did I know what? What you were thinking?"

Leaning against the doorway, his hands stuffed into the sleeves of his blue and white kimono, I stared at him and nodded. I watched with tired eyes as calm cerulean orbs shifted from my miserable figure. He stared for a moment at the birds outside as they chirped their happy song. When he smiled, I cocked my head and found myself looking at two birds perched on the window sill. The two chirruped happily and nuzzeled against each other.

"Love Birds. They say when one dies, it's partner dies too." A somewhat nostalgic look crossed his face and he continued to smile. "This one time, Psyche brought home two of them and one day, the girl bird died. The next day, the male died too. Psyche was so upset."

Tsugaru chuckled, his deepy baritone voice filling my ears.

I grimaced. "Your point? That doesn't answer my question." There was a rather bitter tone in my voice that even I was taken back by.

But Tsugaru, on the other hand, was not. He looked as tranquil as ever, his azure eyes shifting to look at me warmly. "Sorry, I went off topic there. The birds distracted me and—"

"Leave me alone." I interrupted the blonde who stopped instantly, his mouth hanging open slightly in mid-sentence. "I know I do not live here. But to my understanding, you're a man of feelings, correct? Well, as you can see, I am busy being miserable, so if you would excuse me—"

"It's fine. I am sorry for being a bother. But if you may, please, tell me your name. For the most part, I assumed you were Psyche. And it would be wrong of me to continue calling you that."

"Orihara Izaya. Now leave."

"Well, Izaya-san, hopefully you learned something." I completely ignored him. Stealing one more glance at me, Tsugaru stepped into the hallway and closed the door, leaving me alone to drown myself in my sorrow alone. To my surprise, as the footsteps on the other side of the door grew fainter and fainter with each step Tsugaru took, the quicker tears began to fall from my eyes.

Groaning, I leaned into the corner behind me. With my legs in the same, bent position, my arms hung loosely from my sides, I brought a hand to wipe my eyes lazily. What in the world was I crying for? For years, I kept everything to myself and for years I was forced to face this unrequited love by myself; with no one to turn to for comfort.

I was alone.

The only thing that comforted me, though, was the thrill that ran through my body everytime I got Shizuo fired up.

It did hurt to know he would choose _anything_ over being with me, but at least then, when he chased me with that strong fire in his eyes, he'd notice me. Attention was attention. So if the only attention I recieved came in the form of vending machines being hurled at me, then I gladly welcomed it. Even if it was dangerous—Even if it could've _killed_ me, I still wanted it.

I _craved_ for his attention.

He was like a drug and there I was, hooked and _desperate_.

From the day we met, I knew right then I loved the feeling that ran through me whenever he looked at me.

Like a hopeless drug addict, I just couldn't get enough of him.

"As intelligent as I am, I really am an idiot." I murmured bitterly to myself, bringing my hand to wipe the other side of my face. "I went to extreme lengths just to get him to notice me—I even went as far as to making friends with that annoying brunette he's friends with."

And like a drug I yearned for so blindly, as good as it made me feel when I had it—his complete, angry, and undivided attention—I knew that in the long run, loving him like that was doing me absolutely know good…

Loving him did nothing but stress me out and break me.

Break me to the point where I couldn't fix myself anymore. So, in order to hide all the cracks and missing pieces, I hid myself behind the person most people percieved me to be in high school: egotistical, self-loving, sharped tongue Orihara Izaya. And I've stuck to it ever since. "But now…"

I reached into the jacket of my pocket and pulled out my flick blade. After releasing the sharp steel, I stared at it. The cool metal shined a little from the sun's light and I winced, the bright light burning my tired eyes.

Bringing my blade-free arm up, I clenched my fist and held it in front of my face.

"If you look close enough, their still kind of visible…" I grazed my faded scars with the tip of my blade, smiling bitterly. "'The first cut is the deepest.' Pfft, what idiots. The 10th, 20th, 30th—50th cut is the deepest!"

Leveling my flickblade to my wrist, I pressed down and—

_Slice_.

I barely registered the sound of my knife hitting the floor and beed sheets as my vision faded.

* * *

Hours turned into days.

Days turned into weeks.

And before I knew it, I found myself in Tsugaru's house for a month. If it wasn't for the fact that I was still breathing, I was practically dead. I stayed there cooped up, day and night, only leaving to sneak a minutes to use the bathroom and shower. Also, I barely ate or slept—I was a complete mess and far from my former self.

I was a wreck and I knew it. And to be honest, I couldn't have cared less.

_Knock. Knock._

"Excuse me," But even though I didn't, for some odd reason, there was someone who did. And he, the one who came to the door that I left unlocked and left food for me in the hall, made up for my indifference. "I brought you food. Please, come out and eat it."

"No." I lied on my stomach, my head turned to look at the door behind me. Lying over me, covering me like a warm blanket, was my coat. My eyebrows were furrowed, and I glared at the door.

"Please, eat."

"No."

"Why not?" Suddenly, I heard the door open and my eyes widen. While I had isolated myself, I had ended up staining the ones pink, blue, and white bed sheets with my blood.

Not only was it embarrassing, but considering the fact that he brought me food everyday, for breakfast, lunch, and diner, I was more than sure that he would ask about the stains. Using all the strenght I could muster, without straining my most recent cuts, I crumpled up the soft fabric and hid it underneath the bed. I knew it wasn't the best hiding place, but hey, it was worth a shot, right?

"Because, can't you see that I'm tired?" I pretended to yawn. I even lifted my hand up to cover my mouth for added effect.

"What's that?"

"What's what?" I spoke with my hand still covering my mouth. Walking over towards the bed, he carefully set down the tray of food he had brought for me on the floor next to the door. Lazy eyes locking with rather determined blue orbs, he reached forward and grabbed the hand I had over my mouth by the wrist.

I yelped in pain almost instantly, the pressure sending unpleasant jolts to my wrists. Staring at me, I yelled, "What are you doing? Let go of me!"

As much as it had hurt at the moment, I yanked my wrist away. I quickly realized my sleeve had rolled down, revealing my pain, and pulled down on my dark sleeves. "How… Why did you…" He trailed off.

"Leave."

"No."

"Leave."

"Please, eat. It's not good for you to starve yourself—"

"Don't tell me what's good for me, you don't even know me—"

"Why are you wasting yourself like this? What are those cuts for?"

"It's just a simple cut, don't worry yourself!"

"But it is the simple things that tend to be the most confusing, I-za-ya-kun." My eyes widened. Enunciating each syllable of my name, I felt my already shattered heart ache.

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**A/N:** Sorry if that was confusing. The first part was the morning after the last chapter for Izaya. And the last part takes time a month after switch with Psyche, like Shizuo's part in the last chapter. So yeah.

Sorry for the mistakes!

Review? ^^~


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